Creative Screenwriting Contest - Moorland Act One
 

Something just arrived in my mailbox.

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Samuel,

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Thank you for ordering notes from the Creative Screenwriting team, etc.

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Naturally, I have no idea what they're talking about because I'm really forgetful and absent minded. What notes? I didn't order any notes.

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Then I remembered that one contest had offered free notes (and I now recall that these notes were to cover the first act).

So here they are:

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TITLE: Moorland

GENRE: Feature, Horror

WRITTEN BY: Samuel Quo Vadis

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“Moorland” is an intriguing zombie feature that excellently blends horror and wit. The world of the story is rich and ripe for conflict. Leticia serves as the perfect vehicle for a ghastly battle against the undead. She is spunky and motivated, an exciting character to watch. Through her chaotic journey, this story has the potential to start conversations surrounding corruption, morality and resilience.

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The writer’s unique voice stands out from the first page. The writer has a defined style that jumps off the page. It is bold and engaging, helping to welcome the reader into the eerie world. The uses of capitalization and sound are greatly effective in creating suspense. For example, “The only sound is water as it DRIPS...DRIPS...DRIPS from dark stone.” Lines like this help immerse the reader in the setting, allowing them to experience the sights and sounds just as the characters do.

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This is a very visual script, in that there is a much larger focus on description than dialogue. It is crucial that the writing is concise so that this does not slow down the pacing of the piece and it is. The text does a nice job providing ample detail without being overwritten. A great example of this is the bottom of page 12.

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This story wastes no time jumping into the plot. The zombie apocalypse theme is evident right from the start. This is smart because it is a tangible conflict that the reader can become invested in. It is familiar. The first scene with Leticia is violent and playful. It helps establish the tone of the piece. Despite the deadly threat, this is not a project that takes itself too seriously. There is room to laugh at the absurdities of death.

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There are some really fun moments of humor within the text that emphasize this idea. For example, “(Shot from behind...because it's not that kind of a movie.)” Lines like this bring out the writer’s personality and confirm the genre as a horror comedy. They help form a unique project identity that stands out from traditional zombie narratives.

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Leticia being arrested is a perfect ending to the first twenty pages. It is an effective cliffhanger to leave the reader on, making them eager to find out what is coming next. The involvement of the cops also makes the world of the story feel larger. The zombie issue goes far beyond Leticia, Ethan and Caleb.

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The dialogue is another asset of the script. It feels genuine and lived in throughout the initial pages. There are distinct character voices beginning to form. For example, Leticia’s signature snark and overzealous obsession with zombies. The dialogue does an especially great job of capturing the nuances of casual conversation. For example, the exchange between Ethan and

Scott on page 13.

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This script is off to an extremely strong start with a well-defined premise and characters who are outgoing and tenacious. This project offers a refreshing new take on horror, offering gory imagery and laugh-out-loud jokes. If the rest of the script continues on in this manner, this feature is sure to be a thrilling journey.

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Unfortunately...Please be aware that these notes were not composed by the reader responsible for scoring your project within a contest. This is because we always endeavor to place as many eyes on a project as possible.

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But it's off to a promising start.